How it is...

Tom: I'm sure I will get along quite well with this person.
Abinadi: Get out of here! Are you sure this is a girl in our ward?

Between a girlfriend and a lightsaber? There are a million fish in the sea. There is only one lightsaber. --Andrew Taylor

Would I feed bad about doing it, no. Would I feel bad if someone saw me do it, yes. --Stephanie Hall

Thank you for coming with me. You were very presentable. --Tom Wright

Haha, this is probably the best day of... the last two days. I would say my life, but that would be lying. -Natalie Smith

You are ridiculous. Maybe you should answer with that next time. "Tom, how are you?" "I am ridiculous." --Natalie Smith

The food was gross. But at least it was expensive. --Scott Gee

Tom: Crunchy cookies? Who leaves crunchy cookies for Santa?
Andrew: For reals.
Tom: They must hate Santa.
Andrew: They probably left him skim milk, too.
Tom: For reals.

Tina: No he's trying to get rid of you. Get the cat, it's Tom repellant!

Jared: Wait. You're going home from Man's Night to read Twilight?!!
Tom: It's not Twilight, it's Breaking Dawn.
Jared: You're such a pantywaist!
Tom: What?
Jared: Your manhood is so much in question right now!

Cynthia: He started sweating, he asked me out.
Tom: He started sweating?
Cynthia: I make boys nervous.

I hate y'all so I'm not going. Also I'll be out of town, so take the excuse you're most comfortable with.
Love you bunches!!!
Moji
--Farid Mojtaba Bosak-Barani

Travis: Who would you rather go on a date with, Angelina Jolie or Megan Fox and why?
Natalie: As many as Tom would, plus one.

Jared: What is your favorite Elementary School memory?
Josiah: Michelle Ferry.

Brittany: You guys.
Tom: What?
Brittany: You guys. Are... what's the word? So easy to manipulate.
Tom: (laughs)
Brittany: Don't write that down.

In Ebonics, or whatever you want to call it, African American vernacular... --Brittany Hodges

Jenna: I want to touch the baby lion. Like a lion that's a baby, you know, a small lion. Like a child lion. I want to pet it.
Egyptian Zookeeper: Oh, you mean the cub? That's not possible.
Jenna: No, it is possible. I'm an American. I have money, I want to touch the lion. Please?

Chris: I read like ten books and I'm still fuzzy.
Prof. Morgan: Well isn't that what this class is supposed to induce? A feeling of warm fuzziness?

Tom: I feel like putting on a movie, but that would just seal my doing nothing today.
Gavin: Oh man, that would be the most productive thing I've done all day!

It works so much stronger. Like all day I was smelling like manly goodness. --Kasey Wheeler

Tom: Did I tell you that or did somebody tell you that?
Kasey: No, I'm just brilliant.

I'll do you a solid, right in your face. --Bryant Moscon

It's Erika's and mine six year anniversary, so I'm going to try and get out of that to go to the Guitar Hero thing. --Hans Sweeting

Abinadi: Oh David, we're on opposite teams!
David: Yeah, we usually fail together.

People win Nobel peace prizes for disagreeing with me. --Jared Mockler

Abinadi: Here's to all The Office Girls who cleaned our kitchen!
Andrew: Hear hear!
Gavin: May they get to work!

Another thing unrelated to Activities Committee, because I made the mistake of being musically talented, the Bishop has asked the Elders Quorum to prepare a musical number for Sacrament, wait for it, next week. --Kevin Christensen

Tom: Hey, what's up?
Jeremy: Just picking up and dropping off blondes like everyone else.

Andrew, why is school kicking your butt? You need to punch it in the face. --Stephanie Hall

If I was sitting closer to you, I'd give you a high-five. Of the leaping sort. --Jared Mockler

I can pick him up. I used to baby sit him. --Vivian Fisher

Brittany: Do you want a piece of gum?
Tom: No thanks, I still have the other one you gave me.
Brittany: Tom, your breath smells like hamburgers and onions. Would you like a piece of gum?

Tom: Hey, can I tell you something? I look really good today.
Shanna: Really? Who said? A list?

I would marry each of you for different things. Well maybe not Gavin, I'm not sure what he's good for. --Stephanie Hall

Stephanie: You are not going to practice that.
Tom: Yeah, I don't know, I don't know if I'll have time this week but I might.
Stephanie: Don't take that.
Tom: I'll take them all!
Stephanie: Reverse psychology works really well on you.

Cynthia: I just think that if I was telling a story people were not interested in I would stop, but Gavin keeps going.
Gavin: I've had a lot of experience telling stories people are not interested in.

Stephanie: Tom has the grin, AA has the wink, what do you have?
Gavin: I don't need anything.

Instead of "Picnic in the Park", "Picnic in the Dark Alley". --Gavin Gee

Abinadi: Alright, I'm in, say no more!
Tom: What? Where are you going?
Abinadi: Stephanie's buying me dinner.
Tom: Tell her to give me the leftovers.
Abinadi: Nope.

No, I'll wear tennis shoes. You always look like you're ready for a run, but you're just a little too dressed up. --Jared Mockler

Abinadi: Y'all have been arguing over nonsense for eleven years.
Andrew: What did he say?
Tom: He said, "Y'all have been arguing over nonsense for eleven years."
Andrew: And many more to come baby! Tom Tom Tom, let's be reasonable: I wouldn't have it any other way.

The best-case scenario for our relationship would be making out all of the time, and at worst we would just sit and stare at each other, which would get old really fast. --Gavin Gee

Abinadi: How is this a problem?
Gavin: He calls her before drunk people get drunk in the morning.

Tom: Let me ask you a question.
Stephanie: I think you’re attractive.

Putsh: To push a pooch. --Andrew Taylor, read by Nathan Palmer

If I was going to be you for Halloween I'd wear glasses, khakis, and a nice polo button-down shirt. Then I'd be Tom Wright. --Candace Moran

You've got to plan for everything. You don't mess around with hiccups. --Gavin Gee

Abinadi: Remember The Garbage Pail Kids?
Stephanie: Yeah, they remind me of Gavin.

Tom: My finger doesn't support weight.
Abinadi: What does it support?
Tom: Ron Paul.

Brittany: You sound just like my nephew.
Tom: Is he older than you?
Brittany: No, he's four.

In twenty years, I hope I'm just like you. --Shanna to Kristin Ferrell

Virginia: I'm going to be Tom and tilt my head.
Tom: You're so pretty when you look like me.

I need to get caught up on some stuff, a lot's changed since I've been away, and I haven't actually been away. --Gavin Gee

Andrew: Look, it just hit my lip and cut it. I'm bleeding.
Tom: Yeah, you're going to have to shave now.
Andrew: Why?
Tom: 'Cause I hate your facial hair. I just hate it. It has to go.

Andrew: You did not just lick the jelly jar.
Tom: I always lick the jelly jar. Do you use the jelly jar?
Andrew: ...Maybe!

Virginia: Boys are crazy, aren't they, Andrew?
Andrew: Good thing I'm a man.

Stephanie: Ah... I need a boyfriend.
Rogan: Check Craigslist.

I'm not your nanny... That was Bryant. --Candace Moran

If you wanted the highest possibility of getting married, you would do exactly what Gavin has done. It was like he sat down and made a fool-proof plan for finding a wife... and he still didn't get married. So, that's saying something. --Guy at Gavin's work

Tom: What did you do to make her blush?
Andrew: Tom. My name is Andrew Robert Taylor.

Brittany: You're so bad Tom. See, that's how you know you wrong.

Tom: Brittany, I'm a bad human being.
Brittany: I know this, but go ahead.

Edgar: So, me being a bad person, I...

Andrew: What am I doing with my life?!!
Tom: Oh Andrew, stop acting like Gavin.

Andrew: I'm thinking of crawling under a rock and dying...
Tom: Don't do that.
Andrew: ...and maybe coming back in like a week or two.
Tom: Oh, ok, do that. Don't crawl under a rock and die.

Abinadi: Mostly it's me saying, "Tell me I'm handsome."
Tom: I got told I'm handsome.
Abinadi: Who are these liars?

I'm not sure it's going to be the most rewarding study you have ever done, because studies in boredom tend to be boring. --Gwyn Morgan

I shall not want to read it, you shall not want to write it, but hey, it's a legislative requirement! --Gwyn Morgan

Tom: Does [she] know that you're a big fat cheap-skate?
Gavin: She does now!

Thank you Gavin, for coaching me through that stressful five minutes of my life. --Andrew Taylor

Holly: She was trying really hard to date him.
Tom: How does a girl try?
Holly: It's gross.

No offense to Andrew, but I kind of see him as an extension of you. --Holly Green

That's what's great! You don't need experience to not have a girlfriend! --Tom Wright

My name is not Abinadi Silvas Ayerdis! My name is not Thomas Arthur Wright! --Andrew Taylor

One day I was watching some football, and I received revelation... --Skyler Fredrickson

Virgina got a character trait from her mom: She likes public speaking. Well I got a character trait from my dad: I fall asleep in church meetings. --Skyler Fredrickson

A clear indication that Gavin doesn't like a girl is that he's actively dating her or taking her on dates. --Tom Wright

Tom: It was so much fun. Imagine all of the cool people in Austin plus two jerkstores...
Edgar: Who, you and Abinadi?

Tom: Why are we even watching this? Let's just turn it off. Let's just talk. We don't talk enough anymore.
Andrew: I think we talk too much.

Anita: How did you deal with the harassment?
Amie: Well, leaving with guys was standard procedure. Tom was the best of course. We were his sisters, his wives, whatever. He was always looking to beat someone up.

Stephanie: I mean I have to do something since I clearly can’t snag Tom Wright.
Sister Townsend: Yeah, Tom does what he can but he is only one man.

The Lord will change my water (weak-sauce efforts) into wine (God-like efforts) when I give my all. --Shon Hopkin

Shon: Should the cookies go back around?
Gavin: Yes...
Tom: Please don't send them to Gavin! Not to Gavin!
Andrew: Send them to Gavin!
Kristin: He'll stuff them in his backpack!

Tom: Andrew, how fun are you?
Andrew: I don't understand the question. Because I supercede fun. When fun wants to know what it is, it looks me up.
Tom: Hold on, hold on, I have to write this.

Since you all are useless and refuse to talk, you will come to class and ask each other questions. --Mohammad Mohammad

Emily: It's the same word for dogs?
Mohammad: What dog?! Tawq! We are Arabs! We don't put crap on our dogs' necks!!!

Shanna: Well, I love you.
Tom: Do you love me?
Shanna: I'm working on it.

I will tell you...EVENTUALLY. First give me three educated guesses. EDUCATED, may I remind you. --Tom Wright

Tom: Who's going to install it? I've got no hands.
Rodd: Buy someone.

She's such a good girl it's almost wrong not to date her. I fight the urge all the time. --Abinadi Ayerdis

Tom: Hey Gavin do you need anything from HEB?
Gavin: Not unless they have Barack Obama pills. He's the only one that can save me now.

The whole time I was thinking, "Can you come up with anything that I could care less about?" And then she did! --Gavin Gee

Tom: I'm kind of bummed out.
Natalie: I know.
Tom: How can you tell?
Abinadi: Well, you're drinking a weight loss shake, you have frozen fruit on your hand, and you have a big frown on your face.

Bro. Wright: So he calls out, "You boys get out here!" And we're wondering, "Gee, what could he want?" So we come out, and there was the policeman, and do you think we looked him in the eye?
Tom: You should have! You should have but you didn't because you were guilty! You should have looked him right in the eye and said, "What's going on? What's the problem here?" You need to be totally confident.
Arthur: Yeah, you need to look them in the eye, this is the time where you really want to sell, "I'm innocent".

Edgar: I don't want to knock anybody out.
Tom: If you're going to hit anyone hit Gavin.
Rodd: To do the least amount of damage?

Andrew: What's to talk about?
Tom: Well I was trying to be a grown up...
Gavin: But you've given that up.

Tom: There are more eighteen-year-old girls enrolled at the Institute this year than ever before.
Josiah: That must be tough for you, you don't know whether to date them or make them cry.

Punching a hurricane in the face is no big deal. --Parker Ormsby

So it was 3:30 in the morning and my body was like, "Hey you should go run" and I was like, "No, it's 3:30 in the morning" and that's when my body said, "I'm going to give you an adrenaline boost right now". --Aaron Burt

Tom: That song you showed me is taking storm. I love it, he loves it, Andrew hates it because I play it so much...
Gavin: Excellent. All the makings of a good song.

That hump is keeping me from all sorts of guy goodness. --Tom Wright

Sometimes you have to paint yourself into a corner before you can drag your feet through the paint. --Gavin Gee

Tom: Will those look chill?
Andrew: We'll make them look chill.

Gavin: The tiger is out of the hood.
Tom: Is [she] your motivation?
Gavin: It's a mix of things going through my mind right now, all of which are [her].

Yeah, I feel super-charged right now. If we went running right now, it'd be hazardous. To the ROTC. And embarassing. --Gavin Gee

Tom: Your "L" bomb is "like"? You're ridiculous.
Brittny: I'm not ridiculous.
Tom: That's classic ridiculous. Hold on.
Brittny: Don't quote me! Well, no one probably reads that anyway.

Brittny: Yeah that's my butt. Thanks for touching.
Andrew: Well, I didn't know if it was a pillow or not.
Tom: (laughs for a while) Can I write that down?
Andrew: Well, she scooted over, and...

Tom: I should run a kissing booth. You know, make a little extra revenue.
Brittny: Like on the street?
Abinadi: Wouldn't that be like living in sin?
Tom: It doesn't have to be making out. Like a pecking booth.
Brittny: A non-passionate kissing booth?

Tom: Andrew, Abinadi, promise me something. Promise me that if I'm ever turned into a zombie, you'll shoot me in the head, or axe me in the head. Just put me down.
Andrew: I promise.
Abinadi: I promise.
Brittny: I'll kill you if you're a zombie.

Tom: Oh that guy's enrolled?
Sister Townsend: You know him?
Tom: I used to date his sister a little bit.
Bishop Simmons: You used to date everyone's sister a little bit.

Abinadi: It should be here today, or at the latest tomorrow.
Tom: Ooh, then I can be a millionaire.
(Abinadi hands Tom the mail key, Tom declines)
Tom: I don't want to go down there.
Abinadi: One million is not enough!

You should mock people. I encourage you to mock people. Especially people with power. People on your level, your fellow students, that's just not nice. --Samer Ali

Andrew: In what scientists are calling 'pretty gay', Andrew can't get a girlfriend. A leading expert characterized the situation as 'retarded'.
Jesse: Rest assured, sir, that those at the Ormsby Institute to End Singleness will let you know as soon as we learn how to properly resolve the "final problem". Current experiments have not provided definitive results as of yet.

Tom: This is such a hot picture.
Andrew: Stop looking at that picture! There are plenty of pictures of hot girls on the internet that are actually hot in real life!

Gavin: Every time I see her she's bigger.
Tom: I've got to write this down.
Gavin: That might be from a unanimous source.
Tom: Unanimous? Unanimous? Are you serious? Did you say unanimous?
Gavin: Anonymous, it might be unanimous if someone looks through all those photos.

Abinadi: No question, you're a Tiger, not a Gorilla.
(Tom beats his chest)
Abinadi: Nice try Tiger.

Gavin: That's not an answer, those are meaningless hand gestures.
Tom: I didn't just do this, I did this.
Gavin: Okay, hand gestures and a monkey face.

Natalie: Can we listen to regular music now?
Andrew: Instead of Church music?
Edgar: Church music is regular music.

Tom: You could beat me up with Judo. You couldn't beat me up with Tae Kwan Do.
Larissa: I could beat you up with salsa dancing.

Tom: I regret...the foolish actions...that led to the demise...of our fiance-ship.
Andrew: I think the term is engagement.
Tom: You heard me.

Andrew: Why are you putting on your shoes to drain pasta?
Tom: I hate wet socks. Especially extremely hot wet socks. And our sink is really full.

Tom: I want a dog so bad.
Andrew: You want a dog?
Tom: A big dog.
Andrew: Let's get a dog!
Tom: NO! I hate dogs!
Andrew: You hate dogs! Then why do you want one?
Tom: I don't want one in here, I want one outside that will eat people.
Candace: Like a polar bear?

Tom: I wish I had ups.
Abinadi: You can touch that.
Tom: I know, but I still wish I had ups.
Abinadi: You have more ups than me.
Tom: I know, but I still wish I had ups.
Abinadi: Me too. I wish you had ups too. I think about it a lot.

Are you saying that Tom Wright is Lord Voldemort? --Melissa Jensen

I have a test in an hour and ten minutes, so... I really need to play some 9 ball. --Tom Wright

I'll date your sister. She's a Wright, it has to be right. --Jason Salas

You'll never make it through Church, I barely do, and I go to bed on time. --Tom Wright

Tom, I have never seen you not wired. You have enough energy for you and me and ten other people. --Rikki Bryant

Chisholm Trail, they are so far away, how could they be good at anything? --Jesse Ormsby

Tom, I'm not one to rub salt in wounds, but you an Air Force man just got beat by a dancer. Okay, maybe I do rub salt in wounds. --Dan Jones

Cold sucks, except for one thing - cuddling. --Tom Wright

You can see Tom leaving San Antonio two days ago and not getting back to Austin for 48 hours. --Construction Jared

One of them is going to lose fast, then the other is going to lose to me faster. --Tom Wright

Why would I pray about how big my bubble is supposed to be? --Gavin Gee

Tom, what you have is a passion for dancing. Now all you need is rhythm. --Abinadi Ayerdis

He accidently tried to kiss you? --Tom Wright

Tom: Can you live a lie?
Abinadi: Yeah, it's easy, I live several.
Elliot: Yeah, most people here think I'm Mormon.

Soccer is better, and 5/6 of the world agrees. --Mike Flournoy

So you'll date a girl, then I'll marry her as a favor to you. --Dan Jones

It's not in the suit, it's in the Abinadi. --Geoff Yano

Hey Tom, check out what I got! I'm really excited about it and maybe you could be excited with me! --Molly Lewis

You sold your sister for a soda. --Tom Wright

A Wright has to win, and that Wright is going to be me. --Jacob Matthew Wright

Be quiet with your petty continuity issues and enjoy the massive work of art that is The Fifth Element. --Eric Pope

The only thing that stands between Jesse Ormsby and true happiness is $500. --Abinadi Ayerdis

We didn't only get Cocoa Puffs for Christmas, that was just the highlight. --Gavin Gee

We don't gossip, let alone about women. --Abinadi Ayerdis

Molly: I'm going on a mission.
Abinadi: To get out of dating Tom?

Molly: Guys are dumb.
Tom: Molly, I just want you to know something. To be complete, you have to marry one of us.

Why am I in trouble? Tom hits on her and she's mad at me? Don't you remember the context of the conversation?!! --Construction Jared

Ashley: I didn't think missionaries were supposed to sing those kinds of songs.
Elder Marler: I wasn't singing, I was rapping.

Tom: I'm going to pose a question to you that I've posed to many people.
Katie: No I will not marry you.

I've since repented and I have a new... what do you call those? Oh yeah, a standard. I have a new standard. --Tom Wright

Women and men don't balance each other out. Women balance men out. --Tom Wright

When I call a woman, "a Woman", it's a compliment because it refers to everything good, lovely, and nurturing. But, when a women calls me "a Man", it's generally an insult because it usually follows me saying things like, "I could really use some red meat" or "I really wish I could blow something up". --Tom Wright

Man. It's weird how I say things and then girls feel bad. --Tom Wright

Sammy: Your room is really dirty. So, since she left, you're just going to drown yourself in trash?
Tom: Yup, that's the plan.

The missionary handbook says if you can get your investigators to attend a baptismal service, they're likely to get baptized. That's why I went to that wedding in San Diego.I'm trying to get married. --Tom Wright

When the veil is lifted and I remember the pre-mortal existence, he had better be there. Eternity goes both ways and that's a long time without Tom Wright. --Janeya Campbell

Of course I want to marry an orphan. It's the only way to go. No in-laws. --Tom Wright

That's my favorite smell in the world: Girl. --Parker Ormsby

Tom: Is that sometimes really boring?
Jesse: It's miserable.
Tom: Why are you doing this to yourself?
Jesse: I don't even know sometimes. I think it's knowing that I can comfortably support the family that I might never have.

I just want to call her up and say, "I'm bored, what are you doing tonight... let's just make out..." --Gavin Gee

I commit to several deliberately awkward moments. --Jesse Ormsby

Bob: For those of you who have been starving for a little taste of America, I have three Starbursts left. Anyone want them?
Farid: Shut up.

I lost them at my wedding. You lose stuff at your wedding 'cause someone's in charge of getting your stuff from the changing room to your car. --Brandon Wilson

I just got these, they're expensive, I didn't bring a bunch of T-shirst like you slobs. --Mark

Yeah, it was part beef, part beans, and part ex-lax. --Mark

He's got that sly Arab charm. He knows what he's doing. --Farid Moji

Tom: What's the verb for nutrition? Nutrify?
Amie: Nourish.
Tom: Oh, nourish.
Mark: Nutrify? Nutrify?
Tom: Is nutrify a word?
Mark: No!

I can't frown and stick my belly out at the same time! --Mark

Tom and Mark: You learned that?
Bob: Yeah, it was the most terribly awkward thing I've ever done. So yeah, body parts, arm, leg, hand, eye, hair, cerebral cortex...
Tom and Mark: What?
Mark: Do you even use that in English?

Isn't it something that's happening right now though? Like if someone jumped out of the closet with a baseball bat you'd say, "SubHaan allah". --Bob Wright

Brittany: Today is slightly better than normal.
Tom: This is one million times better than what we eat.
Bob: So what? You could throw a handful of sand in this and it'd be better than what we eat.

That is all I can think of now, but believe me... no one... not even your mother (probably especially your mother) is as excited for you to get home as I am. --Gavin Gee

Tom: She's trying to earn back our love. She's going about it the right way. You feed a guy, and that's it. Just give me something to eat.
Amie: I know, I always feed my friends and they never go away.

You and your ideas. Now I'm all wet. --Zaahir Turfe

Tom: How are things?
Farid: Fine. How was Cairo?
Tom: Actually this time was kind of funny.
Farid: How was service?
Tom: I was late as usual, missed most of it. But they asked me to give a talk next week, so I'd better get there in time.
Farid: Oh that's good.
Tom: Yeah and I'm also giving a talk on the seventeenth when I get home.
Farid: What about?
Tom: They didn't give me a topic, but they said if I needed it I could talk about the blessings of Egypt of old, which I might talk about both times.
Farid: That's good, you can work out the kinks of your speech the first time.
Amie: Are you guys having a conversation down there?!!
Farid: Hey!!! Pay attention to what's going on up there!!!
(This exchange took place while Tom and Farid were the bases for a chicken fight in a pool)

Zaahir: That sucks.
Bob: What does?
Tom: Hitting the chest right here.
Bob: Yeah that does suck.
Tom: Did you have an older brother do that to you?
Bob: I had a dad.

Tom: Not going to lie, that tastes weird.
Brittany: What is it?
Tom: I don't know.
Farid: Then don't eat it!
Tom: I already did.
Farid: Then finish it.

Fazal: Dude, do you want to go sky diving back in Austin?
Tom: Probably not, that sounds expensive, I'd rather do it in a third-world country where there aren't any safety regulations.

That's your Jew side coming out. You know what you're paying for? Your life. --Mark

Jenna: Why do you guys get to do it and I can't?
Mark: Because Tom's...................spry. I've seen him dodge some animals.

Amie: I can hold that if you want.
Tom: Screw you.
Amie: Thank you.

Mark: How's your guys' side of the class?
Tom: A little lonelier now.
Kelli: You just moved two seats away!

But she's nosy. I told her I was going out with Aia and she asked, "Is that your friend? Is she Egyptian?" I said yes and she smacked me on the butt. I think it was a smack of approval. --Jenna Burton

Zehad: Tom are you about to kill somebody?
Tom: I'm thinking about it.
Zehad: You can think over there.

All I hear is dinosaur lion noises and creepy church music... --Liz Stein

I don't like green jello. It would never work. --Kelli Vanderlee

Adrienne: Tom don't do that!
Tatiana: That's really dangerous!
Brittany: Ya Tom, be careful!
Amie: Hey watch out!
Tom: I'm going to need (grunt) for all of you to (gasp) chill out. I've taken way more dangerous pictures than these. Missionaries in Brasil would get hit by cars and say, "Quick, get my camera!" Famous last words: This picture is going to rock.

Mohammed: ...and thanks to the security police for protecting us!
Brittany: What are you talking about, we had Tom here to protect us.

A changing room is a bathroom as long as no one ever goes in it again. --Mark

Mark: I'm going to check out at least six years after this guy.
Tom: You realize that Latter-day Saints live longer on average by six or seven years?
Mark: Not this one. 'Sir, there's an anomaly in the statistics this year... Oh that's just Tom.' You win this year by covering with meat sauce and shark diving.

Yoda is all that is man. Just look at him. --Farid

Mark: I couldn't have picked a better seat.
Zaahir: Yeah, these are good.
Mark: No, I mean between you two. It's just like every backseat of a cab ride.

This is the first time I've sat between two guys at a movie and been excited about it. --Mark

Bob: You down to wear your Ahli jersey tomorrow?
Tom: It's dirty.
Bob: How dirty?
Tom: I wore it to the zoo.
Bob. It's not dirty.

Zaahir: Ma3 shanta...
Mark: Shanta? What's with the shanta?
Zaahir: What? Did I change it?
Tom: You changed it.
Zaahir: RE-MIX!!!

My travels today have been between this bed... and the second toilet on the left. --Mark

Tom: Did the girl speak English?
Zaahir: What I said wasn't disrespectful.
Tom: What?!! Wasn't disrespectful?!!
Zaahir: I've lived in the Middle East!! These aren't English words!! They're American words!!

Girls think they need to fix you, so give them something to fix. --Mark

I would have been like that girl, except less hot and thus less likely to receive help. --Mark

Tom: Those camels are huge.
Mark: Yeah, and I was on the tallest one, too. I looked around to see which was the biggest, and it was the one Tom was getting off of, and I thought, 'Tom always chooses the best animals...'

Hehe, yeah... I always assume that no one takes chats seriously, but some people actually believe the stuff I write in this little box. --Gavin Gee

If you knew what I know about you, you would know more about yourself. --Gavin Gee

It was a competition to see who would fall asleep first, the speaker or the audience. --Gavin Gee

Gavin: Oh Jori! I've heard some stories about you.
Jori: Really? From whom?
Gavin: Oh. Well, just stories I've told myself.

Tom: Do your lights flicker?
Bob: Yeah, when you turn them on. Mine flickers so much, I turn it on, and I just know that someday someone will be sitting on my bed.

Zaahir: I need space.
Tom: Then why are you crowding me?
Zaahir: I said I need space, no one said anything about you needing space.

Man in market: My Christian wife!
Tom: What did you just say?
Man in market: My Christian wife.
Tom: She's MINE.
Man in market: Sorry, sorry.

Man in market: You are worth a million camels. And you are worth a million camels.
Amy and Brittany: (giggle)
Man in market: A million camels for you?
Tom: Are you trying to buy my women? That's 3aib man, that's 3aib. That's shame.

Mark: No, the best death for a samurai is in combat. I don't want to die in my bed. I want to die with six knives in my chest.
Tom: And I want six of my knives in their chests.
Mark: I just want to die with my finger on the button.

Tom: Aaaagghhh!
Mark: What? Are you alright dude?
Tom: I dropped my bag!
Mark: So?
Tom: I'm paranoid about the floor!
Mark: Tom al-Qahir, huh?
Tom: Hey! This Qahir has qahired Brasil and now Egypt!
Mark: And this Qahir is afraid of the floor.

OK guys, so I look like a toolbox in my passport photo. --Mark

Liz: You need to drink lots of water and stay hydrated when you're sick like that, or else your body will shut down.
Tom: Maybe a shut down would be good so I could get a good restart.
Liz: Great, that's just what you need. A cardiac arrest so we can restart you with a defibulator.

Andrew: Stop eating.
Jori: No!
Russell: You're going to ruin your appetite for other people's food!

Abinadi: The proof is in the pudding.
Gavin: And I know all about the pudding, trust me, I eat lots of pudding.

I have to convene in council with myself and think for a minute. --Mark

Tom: So Zaahir, is your name the male form of 'phenomenon'?
Adrienne: No, he's 'The Flowered One'.
Tom: De-flowered one?!!

I just want to lay down in this grass, is that inappropriate? --Bob Wright

I don't care how much they study, the girls still have a curfew. --Mark

Yeah man that's wack. If you don't google your name every now and then, you're in trouble. --Mark

I think guys who study abroad in Spain are awkward. --Mark

I win every dance. --Stephanie Hall

So Abinadi asked me last night... wait no, Abinadi was talking to himself and I answered. --Jori Nef

Gavin is my hero. He is just so, I don't know... he's just so Gavin. --Jori Nef

Every time a cat dies, an angel gets it's wings. --Gavin Gee

So, two things: 1) We have a dead cockroach on the floor and 2) I need a new girlfriend, and by that I mean a girlfriend since I dont have one already. --Gavin Gee

Laurisa: I'm serious. Will you please tell me?
Andrew: If I tell you, I would have to kill you.
Laurisa: I'm willing to take that risk. I would die happy.

Are you a photographist? --Laurisa Romriell

Room service,
This alarm clock is possessed. Please give us a different one.Thank you.
--Mark

It's going to be so rad being in Frankfurt for 9 hours. Well it's going to be lame after the first 3 hours. --David Jubar

Tom: It's 'cause you look so suspicious.
Tatiana: No, it's 'cause they like to search beautiful women.

Tom: You don't get lost, do you?
Brandon: I don't admit that I do.

Cara: Doesn't 'borg' mean tower?
Jenna: It boards in an hour?!!

I wish I could get surgery, and remove my stomach. --Amie Sanchez

Tom: What do I put, co-worker?
Brandon: You could put friend.
Tom: Maybe I could put friend.
Brandon: In this extreme circumstance you could.

Tom: I'm a bad person.
Andrew: We're horrible people. But you're worse.

(Jori's stomach growls)
Jori: That's the sound of righteousness. I don't hear your stomach making that sound.

I just want you to know however much you like Tom I like him more, and however much you think he likes you he likes me more. --Abinadi Ayerdis

You know how Edward likes Bella's smell? Well it's like that and I just want to augghh!! --Andrew Taylor

Gavin: That's like Gavin saying, or me writing-
Tom: Hold on, I have to write this down.

Tom: Do you sing when the words come on the screen?
Melissa: When the prophet puts words on the screen, you sing.

Tom: I'll be over in a bit.
Jori: OK, I'm going to get in the shower.
Tom: No, no, don't get in the shower, wait expectantly at the door for me.
Jori: Shut up, I'm getting in the shower.

Amigo Montoya is the name you use when you're proposing. --Gavin Gee

David Crockett's tin box and brush? He had a brush? What a sissy! --Tom Wright

Tom: OW!!! (muffled growl)
Jori: Tom, what happened?
Tom: I hit my head on the washer lid!
Jori: How is that even possible?
Tom: It came down on me!
Jori: Tom, only you. Only you.

She cut in line, but I couldn't have cared less. She said, "I'm not really going to eat anything." If I had been thinking, I would've said, "My name is Amigo Montoya. Will you marry me?" 'Cause that girl was HOT! --Gavin Gee

Jesse: So I just wanted to let you know that there are ocean catfish.
Tom: What do you want me to do with that information?
Jesse: I don't know, hold on to it, let it lift you up when you're feeling down.

Martina: I'm inviting all these people to a Mary Kay party.
Tom: Why aren't you inviting me?
Martina: Do you want to come?
Tom: No.
Martina: It's a girl party.
Tom: I know, but I want to be invited. I want to feel liked.

Rhubarb makes me angry. --Shon Hopkin

Jori: I want that guy's hair.
Tom: I don't think we could be friends then.
Jori: Why?
Tom: Because I... don't do... ugly.

Food is a beautiful thing... and when it's free it becomes a masterpiece. --Russell Hill

Tom: Let's see, on my to-do list, facebook Jacob and Ashley, done. E-mail Adrienne.
Abinadi: Let's see, on my to-do list, I don't have one. But I will in a minute, because I will not be outdone by your to-do list.

Brosiah and Kasey came over earlier and Brosiah gave us tattoos, and Kasey made us feel inferior. --Abinadi Ayerdis

How Jori remembers it:
Jori: I'M NOT AN IDIOT!
Tom: No, you're very pretty.

How Tom remembers it: (and we trust Tom more)
Jori: Hey, I'm smart!
Tom: Yes, you're very pretty.

Tom: Trust me, someone would rather have the inconvenience and annoyance of a 2 AM phone call than to have to take the whole day off for your fu